Beauty and difficulty of motherhood

Recently I read an article that Facebook banned a mother who said that she loved her child but detested to be a mother.

Without the context, the above statement is very harsh, however very easy to understand… at least to me who I am also a mother.

My whole life I dreamt of having children, having a family… I am far from saying that I regret it, on the contrary, I love my children and would die for them a million times; however I must admit it is super hard to be a mother…

It all starts with the brain washing that society makes to all of us… In any culture I know, you have these advertisements in which you see a happy family around a table having a meal where all family members are happy, smiling, having a good time…

I am not saying that we, as a family, do not have those moments, but there is a lot more than that…

When I look back, I do not remember anyone telling me that it would be very difficult, that I would cry alone when my breasts decided not to milk, that I would spend many sleepless nights with my babies crying without stop, that I would quick have to learn about everything and anything about children’s education, that I would get criticized one way or the other… And I had a lot of help… My mum was present, my mother in law as well up to an extent, my husband is super present… He is a better mum than I am, and I am not ashamed of saying that…

Recently I went to my gynecologist who asked me how my marriage was doing… She told me that the governement was researching to understand why couples which are normally happy prior to their first kids, are splitting up…

I told her that we manage the stress but sometimes I am so exausted with the stress of copping with all aspects, that you end  up taking, when you should not, on your partner….And this may be the reason for so many separations….

Society discusses and advocates motherhood, without giving the proper support… There is never enough creches, and mums end up dropping their careers; there is never enough time, and mothers end up not having time to have a proper shower…there is in a lot of cases not enough money and mothers end up not dressing properly so that another pair of shoe can be bought as the child outgrown its last pair.

I do not wish to sound negative… I would do it all again, however, for future mums, I think we collectively owe them a better discussion to the issues, better solutions to the problems… In time of internet and full information, we cannot feel and be misinformed… We must understand the frustrations and the rewards!

Talking about the rewards, they are so many… Many more that I could write on this page and my heart squeezes with the memory of my kids smiles… There is not one day that I am note grateful for the gift that is given to me… My kids…

I invite you now to tell me how you feel… Do you agree with me?

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